CFAH

89 Alpine Terrace: Floor

It’s a schoolboy’s fantasy floor, or rather perch beneath, up at 89 Alpine Terrace. From above above, and from below below (with a skylight above it all).

89 Alpine Terrace: Below

If you’re planning on hitting an open house you might not want to wear a skirt. Then again you might (who are we to judge).  And there’s a lot more of this “opulent” property to see.

∙ Listing: 89 Alpine Terrace (3/2 + 2 units) – $3,295,000 [Joel Goodrich]

Comments from Plugged-In Readers

  1. Posted by amused

    Mother of god. That is the fugliest interior I’ve ever seen. Caligula meets Queen Victoria.

  2. Posted by Rincon Hill Billy

    Inspired by Harry Potter

  3. Posted by bird_man

    wow that is bad.

  4. Posted by Legacy Dude

    Ha ha…there are few people more apathetic to design trends than me. But even I got a chuckle out of this place. Looks like Liberace exploded in the house from Clue.

  5. Posted by chipie

    Looks to me like the owners weren’t worried too much about having any skirt wearing types around… the neighborhood and the style would suggest so along with that glass floor.

  6. Posted by eddy

    OK, here is the game. Someone finish my thought
    What
    The
    ????

  7. Posted by curmudgeon

    My eyes hurt.

  8. Posted by ex SF-er

    my favorite is the super large pheasant on the wall and the antelope (?) skin draped over the office chair.
    I couldn’t find the charging rhinos and zebras though.

  9. Posted by redseca2

    I remember this property being on the on-line MLS some years back.
    The thing is, the bones of the place were very similar, if not virtually the same at that time, (except for the glass floor) but the furnishings and color palette were much more subdued, a sort of Paris neo-classical, and it looked much, much better. We actually lusted after it.

  10. Posted by Rillion

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  11. Posted by jlasf

    Remember the character in “The Producers” named Roger de Bris, the Broadway director? I think this is his house. Even the sofas match: http://the-producers-tickets.com/images/photo1.jpg

  12. Posted by BobN

    There sure is a lot of seating.

  13. Posted by diemos

    I believe the glass floor is for daylighting.
    very green.

  14. Posted by Shza

    I really love the picture of the realtor with the total cheese grill leaning in below the pictures too. It fits the mood perfectly.

  15. Posted by The Milkshake of Despair

    Interesting photo trick in the listing. Check out photo #18 of the library. It looks like a reasonably proportioned room. But then #20 betrays the illusion, showing that this is a very long and narrow room. You could prop your feet up on the wall across. That room would feel cramped to me.
    Perhaps this library with the glass ceiling is for use of the woman of the double earning household ?
    Kidding aside, I do like the idea if for no other reason to provide more lighting. If skirt gazing is an issue, smoked or textured glass would do fine and, um …. skirt the problem. I doubt the skirt issue is much of a problem. What kind of perv would sit down there waiting for someone (who they certainly would know) to walk by for a fleeting glance ?

  16. Posted by San FronziScheme

    Yuck.
    ex SF-er,
    That’s a springbok skin on the desk chair
    This nice gentle animal:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Springbok_etosha.jpg
    became that:
    http://www.joelgoodrich.com/89AlpineTerrace/Pix/f24u0561-bed2-mls.jpg
    Not to worry, springboks are not endangered and by far. Tasty, but not endangered.

  17. Posted by Dede

    QOTD: “Tasty, but not endangered.”
    My new mantra.

  18. Posted by sleepiguy

    That’s a stuffed and mounted peacock, not a pheasant. There’s a joke in there somewhere…

  19. Posted by stucco-sux

    OK, I will never walk past a bland, stucco two floor house in SF and assume that the inside looks like the outside… EVER again. And call me crazy but I sorta like what they didi with it. Not my taste, but somehow not oppressive either. It has that Dali-esque, baroque high-homo sauce that cires out for hot young boys, piles of coke and quality conversation.

  20. Posted by 3 dollar bill

    great starter home for a young family with kids entering St Cecilias.

  21. Posted by Smiling Millionaire

    Can I have some LSD with that? Oh… you say I need to go around the corner to get that?
    Forget it.

  22. Posted by el aguila

    “Bonfire of the vanities” SF style?

  23. Posted by Mole Man

    A narrow room lined with bookshelves may appeal to people with personal libraries, but there are safety concerns. In a significant earthquake many if not all of those books are likely to become airborne and bury anyone unlucky enough to be there at the time.

  24. Posted by james

    that is beyond awesome!
    i bet this perv has a video camera in the library and points it up at the glass for all his cocktail parties.

  25. Posted by Chap

    ‘A man’s fantasy’ (not only a school boy)… let’s be honest. Why someone would make it reality is the question?

  26. Posted by Snowball

    Discount bordello meets too much bucks.

  27. Posted by midcentfan

    If you think past the furnishings and loud art etc., this place would clean up (and tone down) just fine. Could be very comfortable in the hands of someone with restraint.

  28. Posted by Jimmy (No Longer Bitter)

    I went to a bar in Bangkok that had a feature like this …

  29. Posted by Rentwatcher

    Now on CL for $6500 p/w (or $10500 furnished)

  30. Posted by SocketSite

    After three weeks on the market the listing for 89 Alpine terrace has been withdrawn without a sale, but as a plugged-in reader notes above, the property is now making the rental rounds on Craigslist.

  31. Posted by Jerry Pritikin

    I first resided at 108 Alpine Terrace, and it was a 2 bedroom, front and back yard… 2 garages and an in-law for $250. a month in the early 70’s. The house next door at 110 was offered to me for $31,000. A few years ago it sold for over a million… but my problem, I thought then, and now it was not worth it!
    I moved to 91 Alpine Terrace in the mid 70’s. In 1969… it was a 5 unit 4 one bd and a studio, 4 indoor garages and an outside space and listed for $69,000. It took over 9 months to sell at that price. In the early 80’s it was on rent control, until a new owner knocked out the top floor, that made it non- rent controlled. My rent started out for $225. and I left when it was $750. at the end of the 80’s. I have no complaints…
    it’s a great street… and fun while the ride was cheap.

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