301 Mission Street #53D Kitchen

Purchased for $2.85 million in 2011 (having previously traded for $3.2 million in 2009), the two-bedroom Grand Residence #53D atop the Millennium Tower at 301 Mission Street has just returned to the market listed for $4,999,999, touting “hundreds of thousands of dollars of renovations” and having been “superbly improved with discerning taste to accommodate a luxurious lifestyle,” including the kitchen’s new center island which was “custom made from superb and unique semi-precious stone.”

As the kitchen for the 2,230-square-foot condo looked before and after the renovation:

301 Mission Street #53D Kitchen: Before and After

Comments from “Plugged-In” Readers

  1. Posted by poor boy

    I guess I don’t have “discerning taste”, but the before looks way nicer to my eye.

  2. Posted by Really?

    Yikes! Custom indeed.

  3. Posted by Amewsed

    I hyperventilated in a very bad way. And I will have nightmares tonight about that countertop because it is not impossible to un-see it.

  4. Posted by Me

    erh meh gerd.

  5. Posted by eh

    Unfortunately zooming in on the photo is disabled on the mobile site.

  6. Posted by The Milkshake of Despair

    Though I enjoy geological specimens, not sure I need a huge sample in my kitchen. I think that the stone looks awesome (I’ve seen samples at the supplier) but it would lose its awesomeness if it became part of the daily background.

    • Posted by BobN

      In theory I should love, love, love the stones, but all I think it what a waste of great rocks.

      • Posted by The Milkshake of Despair

        I think that’s part of what turned me off here. An expensive surface treatment that might end up in the landfill. That same stonework could have been cut up into ten inch squares and be owned by dozens of junior high geology classes.

        • Posted by BobN

          Maybe the problem is that nobody buys books anymore so the market for bookends has dried up…

          • Posted by modernedwardian

            +1. wins the day.

    • Posted by jenofla

      Design fail. Loud statement material should be used either sparingly or simply. Maybe just the backsplash or just one side of the island. Or a wall trim. But an entire U-shape? Hope the rocks get recycled somehow.

  7. Posted by anon2.5

    What’s the appeal of this building? Seems like all but the very top floors will have views which will be significantly hindered by all the new construction around it. Is it really about the “amenities”?

  8. Posted by Brian M

    Another vote for the Before. ‘Cuz I’m not Ren and Stimpy.

    • Posted by James

      I love a Ren & Stimpy reference but don’t get this one.

      • Posted by Fishchum

        I think he means the island looks like something Jon Kricfalusi would have drawn for a R&S episode. I’m a fan as well.

        • Posted by The Milkshake of Despair

          Steeempy, you bloated eeediot. I told you no one would want a countertop made from petrified treasures found at the bottom of your litter box!

          • Posted by Fishchum

            I wish I could upvote this.

        • Posted by Brian M

          🙂

          John K is awesome!

  9. Posted by Bay Guy

    Same here… yet another vote for the original over the latter.

  10. Posted by Walsh92663

    I don’t know who should be more embarrassed, the person who thought this was a good design choice for the person who approved it… yikes!

  11. Posted by SFJohn

    Behold BUTT UGLY kitchen counter – there I fixed that for you!

  12. Posted by Sketch

    Would work better if those mollusks in the countertop actually squirmed and shot sea water when you push on them…

  13. Posted by Mark F.

    Jesus, that is awful. But I wouldn’t mind owning this unit.

  14. Posted by Someone stole my burrito

    I enjoyed this trip down Hideous lane.

  15. Posted by Castro Dude

    White paint on cabinets is very powerful!

  16. Posted by Sam

    Money don’t buy your class! That art is horrible!

  17. Posted by Sam

    And isn’t half of this view going away very soon when salesforce tower goes up?

  18. Posted by Mark F.

    I think they are trying to unload it before part of the view is obstructed. That, and the fact that the buyer is going to have to “undo” some of the renovation, doesn’t really make it a bargain at list. But I do like the unit.

  19. Posted by Mark F.

    The Russian Mafia may find it to their taste as is.

  20. Posted by John Jones

    A few rocks as accent pieces might be fine. But this? Good heavens!

  21. Posted by anon

    q: how much snark can Socketsite hold?

    a: this thread

    don’t buy it then. whatevs. I think it’s kinda fun.

  22. Posted by Brian M

    q: Why would anyone come to SocketSite and complain about “snark”

    a: The answer to this question transcends normal himan understanding, Grasshopper. Contemplate the koan of a bathroom where all of the wall surfaces are polished chrome and red lucite, and enlightenment may come to you before you pass on.

  23. Posted by Frisco

    I’ve seen this geode-composite stuff advertised in Architectural Digest, from an Italian company. Looks like someone took the bait.

  24. Posted by EBGuy

    My geode must be acknowledged.

  25. Posted by SocketSite

    UPDATE: The list price for the Millennium Tower Grand Residence #53D has just been reduced $249,000 (5 percent), now asking $4,750,000.

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